Letters to Our Children

Dear Sawyer,

I’ll start with you first, you are the oldest, our fist born, my forever baby.   From the first day in our arms, we knew you were one of the sweetest things we have ever laid our eyes on.  You could not care what was going on around you as long as you had our cuddles.   Even at a big FOUR and half years old, and soon to be five and in kindergarten (Yes, you remind us every day that you will soon be in kindergarten.) you love nothing more than to cuddle in my arms.  I hold you on the couch and you rest your head on my shoulders, your small arms wrap around my neck and your legs fall well below my knees.  Don’t you remember when you were just a five pound tiny thing in my arms?  So small that only preemie clothes fit?  I do. I thought four years old sounded so big, I thought kindergarten sounded soooo far away and here we are in a different house, with two younger sisters and elementary school just at your finger tips. Where has the time gone?

You have developed into one of the sweetest, kindest kids I have ever met.  And it’s not just ME that thinks of you that way, even our neighbors, friends and teachers.   Now that you are in preschool, it’s hard to explain why someone would be mean to you.  We are dealing with a little bit of a bully in the class and to hear you talk of his actions can be heartbreaking.  Why would someone NOT want to play with you?  Why would someone want to call you a mean name?  You seem completely dumbfounded that one could be so mean to you and to be honest, so am I.   This stage of motherhood is weird to me., it’s unfamiliar territory.  There are people in this world I can not control and you will be in contact with some of them.  I can’t protect you from everything and sending you to preschool was a huge jolt of reality.  Sending you to school is really about letting a little of you go.  I can only hope that we have raised you with the confidence to not let someone’s actions control your emotions.  You are amazing, sweet, loving, kind smart, funny, and the list could go on.  Remember that forever and don’t let anyone take it from you!

In January, you got another little sister.  Seeing you with her makes me tear up.  You ask to hold her constantly.  You rub her head and sing her songs.  Just yesterday you walked over to her in the swing, gave her your prized blanket, look up at me and said, “Mom, I can not believe how beautiful she is.”  Having you three here can be challenging, exhausting and overwhelming but to see you look at her with such love, to watch you snuggle with her whenever possible and to look at her with amazement and tell her that she is beautiful makes every exhausting minute worth it a hundred times over.

You make this world a sweeter place to be in, your kindness makes me a better person and the amount of love you hold in your heart is impressive for such a small guy.

I love you kid!

Dear Charlotte,

Holy moly girl, are you an intense one!  In every way imaginable, you and Sawyer are complete opposites.  It’s funny because before you came along, I thought I had a good amount of answers (Hold on, let me catch my breath while laughing at how insane that sounds.), I would read a book, implement some parenting strategy and Sawyer would catch on, just like the books would say.  I was sure every parenting struggle had an answer.  I was sure I would have all things under control if I just implemented a certain rule and then you came along and every answer, every strategy, every piece of advice was turned upside down.  You challenged me to the core and continue to do so every day. With you, there is no right way or wrong way to parent, just various paths to attempt and just when I head down one path, I’ll turnaround and sprint back to the starting point and try another.  You make me a better parent.  You make me a more understanding person and I truly needed that.

But though you are hard to handle,  you are hilarious, smart, fearless, strong, outgoing, a born leader and completely unstoppable.  You are going to make an impact on this world.  Your intensity and desire to achieve a very specific result will no doubt put a dent on this earth   I’m sure that whatever you put your mind to will not only be achieved but achieved with results never seen before.  I can’t wait to see what is in store for you!

This month has been like a fun house at the local carnival.  You started preschool with Sawyer and the teachers adore you but since you’ve started, you have been non-stop sick.  Please cough, GO AWAY!  You are sure you are much older than two years old  and try to do everything on your own including taking care of your sister (Honey, thanks for sharing your snack but she isn’t old enough to eat it yet.), cleaning the house (the water on the floor took countless towels to clean up), changing your own diaper (what a mess!),  even medicating yourself while I was in the shower (A freaked out call to poison control later,  I learned you were going to be just fine and that many two year olds can open the kid-safe tylenol containers .  Yikes!).    After an exhausting few days, Geoff walked out of the room asking if I had any more diapers your size.  I did not. I was way too tired to even think about going to the store and decided that I was over changing so many diapers and cleaning up the mess you create while secretly changing yourself  so without any mental preparation, that day we entered the scary wold of potty training… again.

And you know what?  You are doing AWESOME!  I have nightmares from potty training Sawer but again, you two are night and day and you are kicking butt.  KICKING BUTT.  In fact, just now, as I wrote that last sentence, you walked in to tell me you went potty.   Seriously (hold on while I break out my high school pom-poms), who rocks the house?  YOU ROCK THE HOUSE!   It’s just another reminder that you will achieve whatever you put your mind to.   You are a little hurricane Charlotte and our life is stronger and more adventurous with you in it.

I love you like crazy little miss!

Dear Vivian:

You take my breath away.  I look at you and am taken back.  Sawyer is right, you are beautiful.  Beautiful and so much more.  You entered our life so quickly and our world shook.  I don’t think any of us expected to love you as intensely as we do.   To see the love each family member has for you is awe-inspiring and tear-jerking.  Really.  We wake up just to stare at you.  You smile and we will drop whatever we are doing to witness it.  Just by looking at your brother or sister will make their ENTIRE day.  They stop strangers at the grocery store to tell them about you.  We all fight to have you in our arms.  You entered a family full of love and that makes me SO excited for you!   We compete for your attention.  At only two months old, you just might win “Most Popular Strebel”.   Your daddy makes fun of me because I can not put you down, I HATE to put you down.  I’m so content with you in my arms, your nose buried in my chest letting out the most delicate and adorable snores.  I’m spoiling you and I can’t stop.  I have no control over myself, you have put a spell on each and every one of us just by being in our lives.

You.
Are.
Loved.

You have this sweetness about you.  It’s as if you don’t demand for things but politely ask for them.  You have a life in your eyes I have never seen before and when you don’t get your way, you have a pout that could break anyone’s heart… including ours.  The last few days, you have been eating non-stop.  Your growth spurt has been tiring but amazing at the same time. In a matter of three days, your newborn clothes went from baggy to tight.  Your little cheeks when from skinny to full and it’s awesome to know I could do that for you.  We have a bond you and I and I’m not sure what I did without you.   Just when I think I can’t stand up for another minute from not sleeping in months, from taking care of two crazy and hyper older kids, feeding you around the clock,  cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner, while keeping a house clean, I look down at your sweet face and adorable smile and everything in this imperfect world is perfect again.  You have put a blanket of happiness over this house.  THANK YOU.   Thank you for teaching us to intensely love each other.  Thank you for teaching us to stop and take the time to admire beauty in its truest form even in our busiest days.

Our life is fuller and brighter with you in it and I think I can speak for everyone under this roof when I say we love you, it’s so lovely having you around!

You three make my world more beautiful.
xoxo- your mommy.

Kristen Elizabeth Photography wrote a letter to her children as well!  Check it out here!

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