Wow, it’s been a busy year for us.  Just when I think things will calm down a bit, they get ten times more hectic.  Excuse my rambling while I break the last few months down. (I’m writing letters to my children every month along with a few other photographers.  Feel free to read another sweet letter from Tricia Ebarvia here)

Dear Sawyer:

I’m getting old.  Or you are getting old.  And WOW.

So many thoughts racing through my head.   You were born five pounds, fifteen ounces of cute, tiny baby.  And like all babies, you grew up way too fast on your mommy but seemed to hold on to these tiny strands of innocence.  You would wake  up and look forward to my cuddles.  You would only want me to kiss your scraped knees.  You used to say  you wanted to marry me when you grew up.  Even as the milestones passed us by and you went from a newborn to a toddler to a big kid, you had these tiny moments that would take me back to that little five pound baby in my arms.  Then just like that, it was blink or a snap of  fingers, this wrinkle in time and within a second those moments were gone.  With the introduction of your new teachers, your new friends and your big school campus, those moments became  memories.  My memories.  You say you are too big now.  Sigh.

“I’ve got this mom.” You say to me as you slip  your still small hand out of mine and walk into your kindergarten class on your own.

Heartbreak.

“I don’t need you to pick me up, I’ll take the bus home.  I’m JUST fine.” You say to me when I mention seeing you after school outside the door.

Tears drop on my end but I hide them behind sunglasses.  I will not cry.  I WILL NOT. At least I won’t let you see me cry.

I wake up to an already dressed five year old boy waiting for me in the kitchen.  “Mom, I’m ready.” you proclaim proudly. What happened to the groggy little guy walking to me, arms outstretched for a hug and unable to move on with his day without his mommy cuddles?

You sure grew up fast in the last month and more so in the week you started Kindergarten but as sad as I am to let go of my baby boy, I could not be more proud of the little five year old you are now. You were a rockstar, so brave, so un-afraid of school.  You make friends SO easily.  The teachers say you are very sweet and always mention how well you do in class.  You tell me of all the kids you chat with and how many houses you were invited to.    You radiate light and happiness.   You are so joyful and welcoming to everyone that crosses your path. You have a bright future ahead and as I hide the tears I shed for the baby boy that grew up so fast, for the stands of innocence we let go with the start of school; I am so excited to see the sweet young man you become and continue to refine on a daily basis.  Kindergarten is only the beginning my love.

I love you more than words can describe and am here if you ever decide you want those morning snuggles again. (hint, hint)

Dear Charlotte:

You are seriously SO fun.  Everyone that meets you just gushes over you.  You are sassy and sweet, so full of personality.  This month you said goodbye to your old preschool and hello to another.  We are so excited we got into the community preschool in Golden which we heard was hard to do!  We walked into the meet and greet and you walked in so confident.  You said hello to your teachers, sat down and started arranging the magnetic ABC’s on the board in the right order.  You walked over to the counting chart, pointed to the numbers and said each number out loud, almost like you were showing off, strutting your stuff- shock, surprise… not.  What really surprised me though was not how well you did meeting your teachers and new friends but how well you do when you try to do Sawyer’s homework. Holy cow girl, when Sawyer gets one of his sight words wrong, YOU correct him.  How can you read “it” and “at” and “in” at only three years old?  You rock girlie!  Your determination and will will take you so far in life, please don’t let anyone take it away from you.  I have no doubt you will do amazing on your first day of class next week.  Keep on knocking our socks off, we love you like crazy!

 

 

Dear Vivian.

You are gorgeous.  Drop dead gorgeous.  You have huge eyes and this tiny button nose and you do the cutest little thing with your lips when you are thinking about something.  I mean, really, you are beautiful.   And I know EVERY parent says that about their baby but even teenagers that pass me while out in public stop to tell me how beautiful you are. TEENAGE BOYS stop me just to tell me how cute you are!  Is this a prediction of things to come?  If so, Lord, help us!

You turned SIX months since I last posted.  That is so huge, enormous, half a year!   Are the youngest of the family always the over-achievers?  Man, you started rolling all over the place at four months, and at six months started crawling.  Seriously.  You can get to where you want to go at only six months, it’s insane!  At seven months, you don’t crawl but BEAR crawl on your hands and feet.  It’s so awesome looking.  What’s even funnier is that you are so tiny for your age so there is this bitty little thing bear crawling on the floor. It’s out of this world!

Other things? You adore me and don’t want to be with anyone else. You crane your neck just to have me in sight and if I leave you, I return to the biggest smiles like you could not be happier to see me!  You slept through the night THREE times in a row… tell me this is a trend!  Your big sister and brother can not get enough of you and waking up to them singing  lullabies into your crib melts my heart into a pile of mush on the floor.  I knew we were happy before you arrived but having you here brings that happiness to another level we never thought possible.  Thanks for bringing us joy we never thought possible.  I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU!!!!

 

Love, Mommy