Letters to Our Children

Dear Sawyer,

Often you hear about something being life changing.  This “life changing” thing could be an event,  knowledge recently acquired, a turn in one’s health.  These life changers are usually good and I would say that many people are on a quest to find things life changing.  Advertisements use the words “life changing” to describe their products often, I mean, if they are selling something life changing, we should all jump on board right?  In this day and age, we have so much information being thrown at us from every which way, we tend to let a lot of this information go.  I’m pretty sure I don’t need “life changing” shampoo or a “life changing” weight loss pill.  In fact, not only am I not paying much attention to the advertisements all around me but ignoring them to the point of not even hearing or seeing them and I guess after thirty years, you tend to ignore things pretty easily.

But not a four year old.  Sawyer, you pick up on everything.  Your memory is astounding.  Was I like that when I was your age?  You can recall a day’s events minute by minute.  You love to tell me everything that someone did if I wasn’t there.  You don’t let anything slip by you including advertisements.  Yesterday we were in the car and you got a little upset at what seemed to me to come out of nowhere.

“But MOM, I wouldn’t WANT that!  Did you hear that?!  Why would I want that! I LIKE my life!”

Huh?

“Sawyer, honey, what are you talking about?”

“Mom, the radio just said if I ate something, it would CHANGE MY LIFE!!!!”

And this is where anyone older than four or maybe even five or six would think this statement would be awesome.  A meal that would CHANGE MY LIFE?! Count me in!

But not you Sawyer and that is just another reason I am so stinkin’ in love with you; your innocence, your spirit, your intense love for everyone  and everything around you.  With you around, I see things with a fresh pair of eyes.

“But I LOVE my life!  I love you guys!  I don’t WANT my life to change.”

And it was that moment right there that I knew we were doing something right.  I know we are not doing everything right;  I constantly wonder how I could be a better mom for you and your sisters.  Just yesterday I realized that all day had gone by without me reading you a single book.  Gah!

It took me a few extra days to get to the grocery store and we had cereal for dinner a few nights which is not the best thing for a cute, growing four year old.

Often times I’m so distracted by other duties I feel like it takes me too long to pay attention to the things you want to tell me in that very moment.

But during a very mundane part of our day, while driving and listening to a station I wanted to listen to  heading to the (boring) gas station, you told me you love your life and that moment was a moment I hope to never forget. In fact,  I wouldn’t  want to change a thing either Sawyer.  You, your sisters and your dad are amazing.  You have brought me so much happiness and taught me to love with intensity.  I might even say that you, my dear, almost five years ago, were life changing to me and in the most amazing way.

This month was a fun one.  I feel like I’m starting to get the hang of this three kid thing and beginning to schedule activities again.  This month we had your best friend and his family over.  You talk about Parker all the time and wish he lived closer.  I do too.   You guys play so well together and his parents are cool and fun.   Five minutes before they showed up, we noticed a major leak under our sink (awesome right) but all ended well and here you are with your best friend before we called it a night:

How cute are you guys?   You cried when he left and have been asking every day when Parker can come back. I’m actually really sad that this family won’t be in Colorado for your upcoming birthday party.

Speaking of your birthday, you are SO excited for it!  You love sharks so we decided on a shark-themed party at the local water park.   When I had you, I thought five was some magic number.  Five was a big kid number.  FIVE YEARS OLD!  On June 1st you will be FIVE YEARS OLD.  Where has the time gone?  But now I’m just getting ahead myself.

This month has been the month of compliments from you and they crack me up.  “Mom, you look beautiful when you sweep the floor.”  “Mom, I never had a mom that was this good at cleaning toilets!”  “Mom, you are the best mommy when you make everyone such a good dinner.”  Oh kid, are trying to tell me I need to sweep, clean the toilets and get dinners on the table without actually TELLING me to do it?  You are good!  😉

Sawyer thanks for teaching me that everything we have and the people we get to spend our life with in this very moment is perfection.   I adore you more than words could describe.   Let’s not change a thing about our lives!

Dear Charlotte:

Since you were born, I’ve had this soft spot for you. Your cry has always broken my heart.  I really don’t like to see you upset.  You give a pout that tears me up inside and I want to change whatever made you pout to see you smile again.  Perhaps this is another reason you are a bit on the challenging side, I hate to see you sad and you know it and at this point, you WORK me.

I always said I would never be the mom that let her children manipulate her but man, you got me wrapped around your pinky!  (Well played Charlotte, well played.  *fist bump*)   This month Daddy has been working hard on getting you to stop sucking your thumb.  And I say “Daddy” because I’m too wimpy to enforce this on you since, well, yeah.   You get SO upset when he tells you to take your thumb out, ugh, I just hate it.  In all reality though, it can’t be too tough right?  Tell me I need to toughen up.  Tell me you are working us and not really so upset.  Tell me something

You have been really fun this month though.  Just about every morning you’ve been asking to cuddle on the couch with me. I adore these moments.  I cherish the seconds. You collapse your head on me and seem content. You were never one that liked to cuddle much even as a baby so these cuddles are new for me. They are nice.  Soon you will be at an age where it’s not cool to cuddle with your mommy so for now, I soak up the moments.

On school days, you get ready faster than I’ve ever seen anyone get ready. You jump at the chance to get dressed, get your hair done, shoes on and have your backpack on before I could blink.  It’s the cutest morning routine ever.  We hug and then you are out the door.

You LOVE to sing and man, I love to hear you belt out songs.  In the car I will turn down the radio just to hear what song you have come up with.  You combine various songs and sing them loud. I can hear how proud you are of yourself as you are singing the day away.  I wish I had your unabashed way of living.  You ham it up in front of total strangers.  Your confidence is through the roof.  I may not have the ability to get you to stop sucking your thumb but I would do anything in this world if it meant you never let that confidence fade.  Confidence is such a rare and beautiful quality and you have it my dear!

I can’t believe next month the song we’ll all be singing is “Happy Birthday”.    My two year old is almost three.  Time flies.  I love you like crazy my beautiful, confident girl!

Dear Vivian:

You are THREE months old.  Awwwww! Last month I mentioned you were this perfect, happy baby that didn’t cry all that much and a few days after I shared the blog, you started crying.

All

of

the

TIME!

Phew.  And I didn’t know if colic started as late as two months or if my supply went down or if you were just were gassy or not feeling well.  I mean, it’s all a bit of a guessing game, isn’t it?  Then when I mentioned all your recent crying to friends, the next day it ended, just like that.  But with all that crying you still would still pause to smile.  You even laughed.  Many times you would stop to laugh.  In spite of whatever spell you went though, you were still genuinely happy.

And you make us happy.

We picked Charlotte up from preschool this morning and she yelled across the room, “There’s MY Vivian!!!”  She ran over to you and kissed you countless time on your head.   On the way home, I caught Sawyer in the rearview mirror just staring at you.  I don’t know if we could adore you any more than we do now. You are amazing.

You are sleeping with us and I love the snuggles but since you are near me you are still up several times a night which makes me a bit sleepy.  Just last night, I tried to turn the lamp off by giving it a pacifier.  Yup…

You had your two month checkup and everything went perfectly.   You grew out of your newborn clothes and are officially out of newborn diapers.  You might be tinier than most three month old babies but to me you are growing like a weed.  You DOUBLED your birth weight by your two month appointment.   You, my tiny little one, are growing fast!

And you are gorgeous.  Strangers stop me just to tell me how beautiful you are.   Daddy and I love to stare at you.  We still aren’t too sure who you look like more but one thing’s for sure… you’ve got great genes!  😉

Thank you Vivian for joining this family and teaching me to see all of the beauty in all of this CRAZY.

I love you three more than s’mores at campouts and THAT is saying something.

xoxo- your mommy

Want to read more sweet letter  goodness?  Check out Nikki Vassallo’s letter to her children here!

Love you guys!

Menu